Morris Minor memory
Newcastle Herald
Wednesday March 30, 2011
I'VE stood looking blankly into the engine bay of a great many cars, and almost always they've been very old cars, so I can't explain my confusion when I looked into the engine bay of a Morris Minor at the weekend.It was at The Entrance, where we'd stopped for lunch, and I wandered over to a display provided by what I assume was the Central Coast Morris Minor club, a dozen or so Morries with their bonnets open.But where was the motor? I was looking into the engine bay of the first in line and I was startled by its emptiness. It looked as though I could have climbed through the engine bay, and I realised that it's been a long time since I've looked into an engine bay that was not chock-a-block with black plastic and, presumably, engine.Recently I surrendered when I couldn't find the spark plugs in a daughter's Holden Astra, and while I did find the plugs in my wife's LandCruiser I couldn't get them out.But here in this pre-1960 Morris Minor was an almost empty engine bay containing everything cars needed then. It was a side-valve motor that would have taken all of seven minutes and just one tool to whip the head off, a starter motor that could be swapped without grazing a knuckle, a generator a child could have unbolted, a distributor and a carburettor.And I saw these workings as complex!I resent the loss of my mechanical skills to the modern car, even if those skills were in the have-a-bash-at-it category.Until two years ago I'd always had old cars, often very old cars, and over 40 years of bombs I'd become a dab hand at temporary repairs that would do forever. My forte was the tune-up, which was usually enough to have a geriatric clanger singing again.I'd change the plugs, the leads, polish the ignition points, readjust the carbie mixtures and, my party trick, time the motor, and the only thing I can do now is change the plugs. Well, I would if I could find them and get them out. Today the motor is controlled by a computer, and while they may not admit it I suspect that resetting the computer is beyond most mechanical workshops.The Morris Minor would be interesting to drive because of its novelty, and my early cars were more interesting because they were falling to bits. Literally. It seems hard to believe that in those days there were no registration inspections at all.My first cars - even in the early 1970s they were ancient - had big holes in the floor and usually the engine firewall as well, which put the driver in intimate touch with the road and the motor. I could smell the motor and feel the heat, so I knew when to slow down briefly.The brake pedal needed to be pumped every few kilometres, and if you didn't there were no brakes when you needed them. Every one of these cars had one or two wheels that locked when braking, which sent the car veering off to one side or the other or into a spin. I couldn't count the number of times I found myself facing the cars behind me when I braked successfully.The handbrake seldom worked, and because the starter motor or the battery was usually not up to starting the car I'd have to park on a hill to clutch start it later. But because the handbrake didn't work, remember, I'd have to prevail on a passer-by to jam my bricks under the wheels while I stayed inside with foot on brake.Big bumps were interesting, because the heavily bandaged exhaust system was usually swinging from just one point and an engine mount was probably missing, so a decent pothole seemed to set the entire car lurching like a pendulum.And most drivers have missed out on the excitement of driving on high-wall tyres that went around corners reluctantly. We could hear and feel them sliding and bending. Will they stay on?Car doors were tied shut, wipers didn't work or if they did they may as well not have, motors leaked oil, water and petrol from go to whoa, and two headlights were optional because they didn't illuminate the road anyway.As I drove my wife's LandCruiser home, with cruise control, GPS, automatic gearbox, aircon and silence I felt the pangs of nostalgia. But it's good to be alive.Blog with Jeff at theherald.com.auDo you have a nostalgia for a certain car?And can you remember whenroadworthiness was not even a theory?
© 2011 Newcastle Herald
